In an effort to free myself from my own shackled way of thinking, I boldly decided that I would get all dressed up , go to a fancy restaurant, and have dinner alone. Yes I said alone, meaning unaccompanied, or by my damn self. My sudden urge for liberation sprang from a three year relationship of togetherness. Everything became an us or a we, so much that I had forgotten how to live my life solo, or without a man. I made excuses for myself throughout the entire relationship, blaming my weakness on the fact that all my girlfriends were away at college or the age-old "I didn’t have a father growing-up" syndrome. However, after finding out that no matter how much togetherness we had managed to pack into our little bubble, he somehow had found ways to include other women into our equation. Finally, I decided it was no better time for me to take a stance and learn to fly solo. So, I guess you can say I was sort of forced into my situation by both his actions and my friends and families silent whispers, but you know what they always say, "Everything happens for a reason".
As I reached to release the keys from my cars ignition, I whispered a silent prayer, "Lord, please give me the strength." It was short and sweet and straight to the point, I needed the strength of a lion to be able to get through this little experiment I had concocted. I walked up to the Olive Garden restaurant around mid -day, a time I thought the least people would be there canoodling with their significant others. I promptly opened the door for myself and walked into the corridor where the hostess was standing, awaiting to greet me. "Hello, welcome to Olive Garden", the short homosexual male exclaimed. Don’t ask me how I knew he was gay but the black eye liner and nose piecing were a definite clue. I replied, "Hello, Thank you, and ill have a table for one please". He exclaimed, "Ok baby girl, ill put you in the bar area while you wait for your guest." I replied, completely annoyed, "No, its just me, ill take a table or a booth please." My brassiness had apparently annoyed him because he had a completely different, almost manly tone, "Ok girl, whatever you say, please follow me". I remember thinking out loud to myself, "Is he allowed to talk to me this way." I guess without the presence of a second person by my side, he assumed I wasn’t even worthy of his respect. As I sat down at the secluded booth, I remember feeling completely discouraged; had I made a huge mistake, this didn’t feel liberating at all.
My waitress walked up to the serving area and preceded to help the white couple directly behind me first. I tried not to let it bother me that I had been sitting here waiting five minutes before they had, and I tried not to make the conclusion that because I was alone I was somehow insignificant, not only to the hostess, but to the entire wait staff as well. After completing their drink orders, she approached me and by then I was tired of the bullshit, "I’ll have a sweet tea with lemon, the Chicken fettuccine, and the Fagioli soup please." I came off as a no-nonsense black woman, who knew what she wanted and didn’t need the catch or thrill of the day to excite her, just give me what the hell I asked for. I couldn’t believe we still lived in a society of coupled expectations. If you were alone it was as if you had the mark of the leper. Everyone looked at you with pity or sorrow, whispering "Wow, that poor black girl is eating alone." I preceded to pull out a book I was tackling at the time and decided I would get some much needed reading done while I ate. As I lost myself in the words, the waitress came back with my drink and soup, and the famous Olive Garden bread sticks. She tried to make conversation, but I was not the one for small talk. She asked, "hey, what are you reading." I turned the book over where the title was visible, I figured she would make even more stereotypes and conclusions about me solely based on the title of the book (the books title was Naked). She seemed interested in asking questions, but she went along on her way with only a smirk on her chocolate brown face.
So I ate and ate and read and read till finally my experiment had ran its course. It was check time, which meant it was time to get the hell out of there. I pulled out my credit card, stuck it in the little black folder, and waited for her to return with my receipt and those small chocolate mint candies they always gave at the end of an Olive Garden meal. She walked up again with a smirk and handed me the little black folder. I preceded to open the book and sign my receipt, but was shocked by what I saw. A note on a white slip of paper that read "You go girl" in big bold black ink. I didn’t know what to think. Was she being funny or sarcastic, or had I really inspired another woman or two into a better way of thinking? I decided to assume the second thought. Little ol’ me had managed to break down just a little of the societies coupled expectations. I walked out feeling triumphant and confident, the world was now my Smorgasbord. So ladies, the next time you are feeling the urge to get your grub on but don’t have a date or friend to accompany you, make the trek alone. At first glance, you would think my experiment was a total failure, but in the end I felt good about myself, knowing I could finally go-it alone.
Not sure of places to go for great food and fun ALONE, here are a few Houston Hot Spots:
1. Z-coffee or Starbucks- coffee houses are always a good selection for dining one deep. The atmosphere is inviting and comfortable and the pastries are to die for. Most people are already alone either studying or reading, so you’ll fit right in!
2. Panera Bread- the food is good and healthy and the atmosphere is quaint, perfect for the single and fabulous.
3. The Breakfast Club- although usually overcrowded, I found that in the morning there are a handful of black professionals, both men and women, dining alone with their morning paper, coffee, and hot grits.
4. A park or Pond- grab a lunch and have the ducks be your company, the atmosphere is completely relaxing and serene. Ladies, be careful at night, make sure park is not completely deserted.
5. Tokyohana- sushi bars are the shit, it’s something fun and different to experience.
More to come ladies......enjoy Dinner for ONe!
-Abby
I love her clothes...their soo feminine and chic!
